Frequently Asked Questions

The Law: Each state has and uses different definitions for “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse,” and other similar terms. In Texas, sexual assault and rape are legally the same thing, though in law you will hear it referred to as sexual assault. Trigger Warning: Please note that the following definitions and explanations include graphic descriptions of sexual violence. Sexual assault is any penetration – be it oral, anal, or vaginal – with a sex organ or any object, by one person, against another without consent OR causes another person to contact or penetrate the mouth, anus or sexual organ of another person without their consent. . Specifically The Texas Penal Code states: Sec. 22.011. SEXUAL ASSAULT. (a) A person commits an offense if the person: intentionally or knowingly: (A) causes the penetration of the anus or sexual organ of another person by any means, without that person’s consent; (B) causes the penetration of the mouth of another person by the sexual organ of the actor, without that person’s consent; or (C) causes the sexual organ of another person, without that person’s consent, to contact or penetrate the mouth, anus, or sexual organ of another person, including the actor If you are not in Texas, please check the law in your state for a precise legal definition. Because laws are different in every state, it is important to find out the law in your state. You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE to find out more about the laws in your state. ​ Who Does Sexual Assault Happen To? Rape can happen to ANYONE! Rape victims who have contacted the Crisis Center of Southeast Texas have included women and men of all ages, ethnic groups, and income groups. So, no matter who you are or where you live, unfortunately, sexual assault CAN happen to you! Do I Have to Be Afraid of Being Attacked All The Time? No, but you do have to be realistic. Many rapists look for victims who are "easy marks". That means that they look for women and men who are not careful about avoiding dangerous situations. Since other people will not always be around to prevent a rapist from attacking you, you have to learn to protect yourself!

There are a few questions to consider about consent. Consent is a crucial element in judging whether or not a crime occurred. Consent can be taken away at any point, before or during any sexual act, and consenting to one sexual act does not cover as consent for others. Are the participants old enough to consent? Each state sets an “age of consent,” which is the minimum age someone must be to have sex. In Texas, the age of consent is 17 years of age. People below this age are considered children and cannot legally agree to have sex. In other words, even if the child or teenager says yes, the law says no. In most states, the age of consent is 16 or 18. In some states, the age of consent varies according to the age difference between the participants. Generally, “I thought she was 18” is not considered a legal excuse — it’s up to you to make sure your partner is old enough to legally take part. Do both people have the capacity to consent? States also define who has the mental and legal capacity to consent. Those with diminished capacity may not have the legal ability to agree to have sex. In Texas, one cannot consent to sex if they are:

• Under the age of 17

• Under use or threat of physical violence or death

• Unconscious, unaware, or mentally incapacitated

• Under the influence of drugs

Did both participants agree to take part? Did someone use physical force to make you have sexual contact with him/her? Has someone threatened you to make you have intercourse with them? If so, it is rape. The absence of a “no” is not the presence of a “yes.” If you proceed despite your partner’s expressed instruction to stop, you have not only violated basic codes of morality and decency, you may have also committed a crime under the laws of your state.

Consent must be… Fully informed. To be fully informed, consent must be based upon a clear appreciation and understanding of the facts, implications, and future consequences of an action. In order to give informed consent, the individual concerned must have adequate reasoning faculties and be in possession of all relevant facts at the time consent is given. Non-coercive. Cajoling, threatening, or otherwise trying to “convince” someone to engage in a sexual act with you is breaking consent. This means that asking 16 times, getting 15 No’s and 1 Yes, is still not adequately obtaining consent. Not fixed. After asking once for consent does NOT mean that you now have consent forever. It should be continuously negotiated, even (and especially) when you are in a committed relationship. Dynamic. Related to the above note, consent for one act does not necessitate consent for all acts. It should be re-addressed constantly for different acts. Conscious. Anyone who is inebriated, asleep, passed out or otherwise not fully coherent cannot consent, legally or otherwise. Unambiguous/Explicit. Many phrases that indicate doubt, such as “Maybe,” “I’m not sure,” “Not yet,” “Kinda,” “Wait a minute,” are not consent. One can assume they mean “no.” Not contingent upon sexual interest nor sexual arousal. Neither your interest NOR the expressed/implied interest of any potential partners is an invitation to any act. Also, neither your arousal nor the (assumed) arousal of anyone you might want to have sex with is an invitation. Not compensatory. Despite some assumptions, a nice dinner and a movie are not an invitation to have sex. Not something that requires a qualifier. No one needs to explain why they are not granting you consent. No is enough.

People respond to an assault in different ways. Just because you didn't resist physically doesn't mean it wasn't rape — in fact, many victims make the good judgment that physical resistance would cause the attacker to become more violent. Lack of consent can be expressed (saying “no”) or it can be implied from the circumstances (for example, if you were under the statutory age of consent, or if you had a mental defect, or if you were afraid to object because the perpetrator threatened you with serious physical injury).

There are no set rules because every situation and every person is different. Here are some alternatives to consider. TALK - say anything that may allow you to escape (i.e. "I'm pregnant"; "I have VD"; "I have AIDS"; etc.)

FIGHT - aim for sensitive parts of the body; groin, eyes, windpipe, kneecap. The first blow is very important and must be accurate. You may not have a second chance.

SUBMIT - submitting is not the same as consenting, and it may be the only way to save your life; however, do not allow the rapist to tie you up. At that point, you will lose all your options to escape and may not be able to get the situation back into control.

RUN - your main objective is to get away. Look for crowds, houses with lights on, a busy street, etc.

REMEMBER - Violence is seldom far from the surface of a rapist's mixed-up mind. Rape is a crime of violence using sex as the weapon. If persuasion and resistance do not work, concentrate on identity: age, height, hair color, eye color, scars or birthmarks, clothes, car and license number. Personal protection articles carried in your purse are not easily accessible and can be used against you. Mace should not be used outdoors because the wind can cause it to blow into your face, not the face of the attacker.

WHAT IF - consider circumstances and places that someone may try to attack you and play the "What if" game (i.e., what could you do to avoid an attack at the mall, in your home, in your car). Surprise and fear are two tactics rapists use to their advantage. By being aware at all times (not paranoid), you can eliminate these and remain in control when someone approaches you. Keeping your wits about you is the key during the first three minutes of an attack. Concentrate on the situation. If you scream, can anyone hear you? If you run, is there anywhere to hide?

AFTER A RAPE . . .

• Don't destroy evidence by bathing, douching, washing hands, brushing teeth, changing clothes or linens, eating or drinking.

• DO notify someone immediately. It may help you if a friend or neighbor goes with you to the hospital and police.

• DO seek medical attention in the ER of a local hospital. You need to have a rape exam even if you decide not to press charges. The exam is used to collect evidence (which will be needed if you later decide to prosecute) as well as assure you that you did not sustain injuries, which may not be visible yet (i.e., internal injuries, bruises).

• DO call police as soon as possible. Even if you don't want to file any charges, you can file an informational report that may help police locate your attacker and protect others. Most rapists are repeat offenders!

• DO take a change of clothes with you to the hospital.

• DO write down the details about the rapist and the circumstances of the rape as soon as possible.

• DO call the Rape & Suicide Crisis Center of Southeast Texas or your local rape crisis center if you need someone to talk to or answer questions or if you want someone from the center to accompany you to the hospital, police station, or courthouse.

REACTIONS TO RAPE . . Rape can affect a victim in many ways. All of the following reactions are normal. Some of them should be expected.

• Anger - Shock - Disbelief - Suppression.

• Fear of being alone. Fear of crowds

• Fear of the return of the attacker

• Obsession with assault

• Fear of men

• Fear of husband/friends/family finding out

• Embarrassment / Guilt

• Disruption of normal sex life

SERVICES OFFERED THROUGH THE CRISIS CENTER OF SOUTHEAST TEXAS (ALL SERVICES ARE FREE)

• 24-Hour hotline

• 24-Hour advocates to assist victims through hospital-police-court procedures

• Referrals to other professionals

• Free books for victims and their family/friends

• Information and speakers on topics related to sexual assault

• Training sessions for new volunteers

• Weekly survivor/victim support group meetings

• Individual support counseling by appointment

• Support groups for adolescents and their parents

Sexual assault is a crime that is deeply misunderstood. It is a sexual expression of violence, not a violent expression of sex. Most people think that rapes are only committed by strangers lurking in the bushes who wait on their unsuspecting victims as they walk by. Actually, most rapes are committed by someone that the victim knows --- a relative, a date, a co-worker, an acquaintance, or a friend. It is essential that all victims have a tangible source of information available to them that can serve as a guide in the event that they will ever need it for themselves or a friend.

This section was written to assist you, a survivor of sexual assault. It does this by providing you with the medical, legal, and counseling information that you need immediately following a sexual assault. This information should help you regain the control you feel you have just lost by allowing you to make your own decisions as soon as possible after an attack. This is an important step in your healing process and this information will help you accomplish it.

Each of the following sections contains valuable information in three areas, which will be very important to you:

MEDICAL ASSISTANCE

LEGAL ASSISTANCE

COUNSELING INFORMATION

Each section should also provide you with a list of resources you can use to seek further help if necessary.

MEDICAL ASSISTANCE

EMERGENCY ROOM INFORMATION

In order to prove sexual assault of an adult in court, there must be legal proof of vaginal, anal, or oral penetration by an actor without the victim's consent. This means that you should have a pelvic examination no later than 72 hours after the assault. The usual procedure that the hospital follows in aiding sexual assault survivors is to perform a rape kit examination for collection of evidence.

There is a possibility of a lengthy wait before you can be seen. Often, however, the police may want to use this time to talk to you (if you're able). If you are not ready to talk to them, then you may prefer to talk to the rape crisis advocate who is notified by the hospital when you register and should arrive shortly after you. An advocate is a good person to talk to because they can answer any questions you have about what is about to happen. The advocate will also be there to listen to you and lend support.

RAPE KIT

When you are admitted to a room you will meet a nurse who will briefly explain the rape kit to you. Then, you will be asked to sign a statement of consent to perform the rape kit. If you have other questions about the rape kit, this is when you might want to ask the advocate to answer them for you.

There are strict guidelines, which must be followed during the examination and collection for the rape kit. The evidence for the kit will be collected either by a nurse and a physician or a sexual assault nurse examiner who has been specifically trained to deal with sexual assault survivors. The nurse or examiner will then ask you some general questions about your health, followed by more specific questions about the assault. These facts will help the examiner to know what to look for during the exam. Then the examiner will perform an examination to collect medical evidence. When your assailant is found, he/she may undergo a similar exam to collect evidence. This will allow for a comparison of medical samples with the evidence they collected from you. It may also help to positively identify the person as your attacker. If you would like to know more about the purpose of each procedure performed during the rape kit exam, be sure to ask the examiner or the rape crisis advocate. They can answer any further questions you may have.

During the rape kit exam, the doctor or nurse examiner will write down all signs of abrasions, bruising, cuts, concussion, and evidence of penetration on a special report form. If you notice any bruising following your rape kit examination, you may want to go for a follow-up visit with your doctor or have the bruises photographed by a friend. If the case goes to trial, photos and testimony of the doctor or nurse examiner will be very important.

Another important issue that you need to consider is the expense of the rape kit. The rape kit exam will be paid by the law enforcement agency investigating the assault "if the survivor cooperates with the investigation." "Cooperation" could simply mean filing a report with the police department, or it could require you to press charges. If you are unsure about your circumstances, ask the attending officer. These costs can be over $400, and if you do not "cooperate" according to the department's standards, you will be obligated to pay all of those fees yourself. Any additional tests for pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases will be your own expense. You are encouraged to have a follow-up exam 2 - 4 weeks following the assault.

LEGAL ASSISTANCE

POLICE INVESTIGATION

After the rape kit is completed, you will probably be interviewed by a detective from the attending police

department. At this time, you will be asked to give a statement and you will be asked whether or not you want to press charges. Don't panic if you're still not sure what you want to do. Go ahead and allow the investigation to continue, if you feel comfortable doing so. This way, if you decide that you definitely want to press charges, and then the investigator will have as much evidence as possible. On the other hand, if you do not allow the investigation to continue, and you later want to press charges, it may be too late. The investigator's opportunities to collect evidence from the suspect or the crime scene will probably be gone. If you have any questions about anything that is happening, be sure to ask. The officer or the advocate from the rape crisis center should be able to answer these questions for you.

OPTIONS FOR REPORTING THE ASSAULT

As a victim of sexual assault, there are many legal considerations that you are suddenly going to be faced with. The first of these, reporting the assault, is a very important one because it determines what other legal issues will follow. Before you decide whether or not you want to report your assault to law enforcement, you should be aware that there are three different types of legal reports that you can choose to complete:

1. Crime Report

2. Pseudonym Report

3. Third Party Report

4. Other options for action

CRIME REPORT

You are the only one who can decide whether or not to make an initial crime report, and how to report the crime. If you decide to report the assault, the first step is to complete a crime report, which may be done before or after the physical exam in the emergency room. The officer may ask you personal questions and they may ask the same questions more than once. Try not to be offended by this. They are just trying to find out information in order to make a better case for you.

Remember, it is not you who did these things, but the assailant. The information you provide is the basis for a legal proceeding and must be accurate. You have the right to read over everything that law enforcement officers write on forms and ask them to correct any misinformation. Be certain to get names, badge numbers and business telephone numbers of the officers. Many people find that they remember more details of the event a while after it has occurred. If you find that you have remembered something that you may not have told the officers, call them with the information. Also, do not worry if you remember details a little differently later on. This is not uncommon and should not hurt your case. Keep a journal and write down new information as you recall it so you can give that information to the investigator.

PSEUDONYM REPORT

A pseudonym report is the exact same report as a crime report, with one exception: a false name (pseudonym) is used in place of your own name. This option in reporting is designed to help maintain your privacy by protecting your identity. The false name that is chosen for you will be used on all legal and medical documents associated with the assault.

THIRD PARTY REPORT

If for any reason you choose not to file a formal crime or pseudonym report, you can also report information anonymously about your assault, and more importantly, about the assailant(s) to the police. This option is called third party or "Jane Doe" reporting. The sharing of this information benefits both you and the police. The police add the third party report information to the other data they have collected concerning sexual assaults and assailants. With third party reporting, you can give information to the police without pressing charges and going through a trial. You do not have to worry about the assailant finding out about your report, because no one will call or approach him as a result of it. Making this report can help you to re-establish some peace of mind.

OTHER OPTIONS FOR ACTION

The criminal process may not be sufficient to satisfy your needs for financial, physical, or mental compensation. In this case you may wish to pursue other alternatives that may be available to you. Two of these options, the Student Conflict Resolution Center at Texas A & M and civil suits can be explained by your rape crisis advocate. If the offender is not a Texas A&M student but attends a college or university, their school may have a student disciplinary process as an option.

COUNSELING INFORMATION

THE IMPORTANCE OF SUPPORT COUNSELING

After you have experienced the trauma of sexual assault, you need to have someone who can listen to you, offer support, and provide you with information. There are two basic types of support counseling in which you may want to participate. The first of these is individual counseling with a professional counselor or support from a trained rape crisis center support advocate. The second is group counseling for sexual assault survivors. You may choose to seek help through these options separately, or you may prefer to participate in both forms of counseling at the same time. The important point is that you get involved in some sort of counseling as soon as possible.

Just as there are no standard reactions that all rape survivors must experience, there is no set amount of time that you should remain in support counseling. The amount of time will vary for each survivor, depending on factors such as how soon after the attack you begin receiving counseling, what type of counseling you are participating in, and how effective your family and friends are in helping you to get through this emotionally trying time. Only you can know for sure when you have fully benefited from the counseling you have received and are ready to end your sessions. Your counselor can also help to advise you about when you should be able to stop receiving therapy. Finally you should keep in mind that counseling services will always be available to you. If you feel that you ended your sessions too soon, you can always continue them. Also for any occasional problem that may arise, an advocate on the rape crisis center hotline is available 24 hours a day.

Phases of Rape Trauma

SUMMARY Phase One, the Acute or Impact Stage, is when a victim exhibits signs of acute distress. How soon they tell someone, the reaction and support they receive from that person and their decision to tell family will determine them dealing with this stage normally. They should receive thorough medical exam, medical and legal counseling should be given to them, and they should be told the likely cycle of future phases and their feelings. Phase Two, the Repression or Outward Adjustment Stage, denial, suppression and rationalization replace shock and dismay. It is during stage this that a victim be reminded that when they need to talk and deal with their fears and feelings, that they need to contact a rape crisis center counselor and that Phase Three will probably follow. Phase Three, the Post-Traumatic or Resolution Stage, moderate to severe depression and the need to openly talk will come about. There are often daily memories of the rape. A victim may experience insomnia, nightmares and various physical symptoms. It is important that they are encouraged to express their emotions openly and begin to put an end to the nightmare. PHASE ONE - ACUTE OR IMPACT STAGE This stage is characterized by a rise in tension in response to stress. There is an increase in the level of tension and an increase in the feelings of being upset. At this point, the problem may be: (a) solved; (b) redefined in order to achieve needed satisfaction; or (c) avoided through needed resignation and relinquishment of goals. If the rape crisis is not solved, major disorganization may ensue. The rape victim may have general feelings of helplessness, state of confusion and inability to think clearly about how to evaluate reality. This first phase has been described as an acute reaction. In the first moments, hours and days immediately following the rape, the acute reaction may be in the form of shock, disbelief and dismay. A victim may be agitated, incoherent or in a highly volatile state. They may appear very stable and in control only to break down suddenly. This may begin when victims first realizes they must deal with the consequences of the rape, pressing charges, friends' attitudes, etc. How soon and to whom a victim tells about the rape provides an early clue about their own feelings of what happened to them and their role in it. This is why talking to someone is so important -- so they can help clarify feelings, help make decisions on reporting the rape and giving options for medical and legal assistance. There is usually a marked decrease in the victim's anxiety after discussing the incident with someone. If a victim seeks support, this phase usually resolves within a few weeks. They must be given informative support as well as support counseling to turn their non-specific anxiety into helping them concentrate on resolving problems created by the rape (i.e., whether or not to report, whether or not to press charges, whether or not to tell family or friends). This is why a rape crisis center plays such an important role during Phase One. A victim can be helped to consider alternative courses of action and their possible outcomes. A rape crisis center can help them notify family and accompany them to the police and the hospital emergency room for medical consultation and an exam. A victim is encouraged to consider how they will feel in a few weeks or months. Similar reactions of other survivors are discussed with them, and they are encouraged to seek counseling. Their fears, anger and depression are discussed. Their feelings are validated as being a normal reaction for them. PHASE TWO - REPRESSION OR OUTWARD ADJUSTMENT STAGE In this stage a victim goes about a lot of activity in an attempt to discharge the inner tension or anxiety they may be feeling without any additional work on working through their true feelings. They return to normal activity and subdue their anger and resentment and rationalize what has happened, while gaining little insight into their own, true feelings about the rape. After the immediate issues have been temporarily dealt with, a victim usually returns to their ordinary routine of life. This seeming adjustment is reassuring to those who have been involved with them during the crisis. They will usually announce during this phase that all is well and will break off any counseling they might have been receiving. It is during this stage that there is heavy denial and suppression. They deny the rape had a personal impact on them, and they concentrate on protecting the feelings of those close to them and their concern. It is important that they address their feelings about the rapist during this stage, but they usually subdue their feelings and go about their daily routine of life. They are usually very passive about the rape and their role in the assault, looking at it from a third party viewpoint. They have little interest in continuing to gain insight through treatment of any kind. PHASE THREE - POST-TRAUMATIC OR RESOLUTION STAGE This phase begins when a victim develops an inner sense of depression and feels the need to talk about their feelings and the situation. Concerns, which have been dealt with superficially or denied successfully, reappear for more comprehensive review. The depression that sets in during this stage is psychologically normal in most cases. In order to resolve feelings, a victim is encouraged to accept the rape and realize the impact it has had on their feelings and life. The "If only I hadn't" statements emerge. They must allow their anger at the rapist to emerge instead of shying away from their feelings of anger and disgust. This phase may begin with a specific incident such as the case going to trial soon, or if they realize they are unable to daily subdue fears and feelings as in Phase Two. They may find themselves thinking about the rape after seeing a person of the same race as the rapist, reading a magazine article or seeing a television show about rape or any unexplained situation. During this phase, a victim usually re-contacts their rape crisis center counselor to help them identify their surfacing fears and feelings or help to prepare them for trial.

At Home:

• Install dead bolt locks on all doors and trac locks on all windows.

• Call your local police department for free security assistance.

• List only your last name and initials in phone directories and on all mailboxes.

• Keep all doors locked at all times and install a peephole.

• Install new locks when moving into a new location.

• Never open the door to a stranger. Require identification from repairmen, policemen, salesmen, etc. Allow entry only if expected.

• Do not allow strangers to use your phone. Make the necessary call for them or direct them to a public phone.

• If a door or window has been forced open or broken while you were away, do not enter or call out. Use a neighbor's phone to call the police.

• When returning home, have your keys ready so you can enter easily and quickly. Keep curtains drawn after dark.

• Hang up immediately on obscene callers. Pretend to talk to someone in the room or pretend to tell the operator to trace the call before hanging up on the caller. Instruct children not to speak to strangers over the phone.

On the Street:

• Walk quickly and against the traffic.

• Walk in open areas away from walls, shrubs, doorways, and alleys.

• If you suspect you're being followed, go to a safe place quickly and call for help.

• If a car pulls up next to you, run in the direction that the car came from. If the driver wants to follow you, the car will have to be turned around.

• Never hitchhike!

In a Car:

• Keep doors locked at all times (when driving and after entering a parked car).

• Check the back seat and under the car before entering.

• Lock door immediately upon entering.

• Always park in an area that is well lighted.

• If someone approaches the car while you're stopped at a light, drive away quickly.

• When returning to your car, have the keys in your hand.

• If you have car trouble, signal for help by raising the hood or by tying a white handkerchief to the antenna. Remain inside the car with the doors locked until identified help arrives.

• Never pick up hitchhikers!

• If you are being followed, do not go to your home. Go to a police station or the nearest business.

• If you are being forced off the road by another car, do not stop. Do not be afraid to damage your car. Proceed to a business or police station as quickly as possible. Blow your horn for attention.

At a Party or Nightclub:

• Don't leave your beverage unattended.

• If you have to go to the bathroom, take your beverage with you.

• Don't pick up a beverage after it has been left unattended while you were chatting or dancing.

• Don't accept a beverage someone has bought for you unless you watch it being made or you open the beverage yourself.

• Don't allow a stranger to take you home. Provide your own transportation.

• Attend with a group of friends and watch out for each other.